This it the largest known compilation of challenging sexual positions.  It is great for a laugh, and for a challenge.  Check it out, you won’t be disappointed.

 

The Dirt-tionary

 

This is the sacred website, it is not to be changed in anyway. This website has circled the world 47 times, and has been in circulation, unchanged since 1942. If you have something to add to the list, please forward your ideas to the official Dirt-tionary committee. If you do not send this to 52 of your closest personal friends in the next 15 seconds, your dick will shrivel up, turn green, and fall off. This is not a joke, it happened to Roger Sampson of Frankfort, Kentucky in 1987 and Nick Sawgood of Ladysmith, British Columbia in 1974. If you do in fact manage to send this out to 52 (or more) of your closest personal friends in under 15 seconds, you will receive 19 years of good luck. Tom Vykstra of Seattle, Washington sent the url to 76 of his friends. Prior to the forwarding, he was living in a dark alley between a wet cardboard box and a dead prostitute, shaving with discarded needles, so poor that he had to beg for a jiffy marker and some dry cardboard to write on. He now drives a red Ferrari, owns a cardboard processing plant in Mexico, and lives in a mansion (which has two harems, one in the south estate and one in the west wing).

 

P.S If there is grass on the field, play ball; otherwise, flip her over and play in the mud.

 

The Dirt-tionary

 

1)        -- When you're going at it doggy-style and just as you're about to spill your load, you plunge a finger into her poop-shoot and reach around to her upper lip, where you proceed to paint on "The Dirty Sanchez."

2)       The Wet Burrito -- Similar to the Dirty Sanchez, only performed with your own ball sweat.

3)       The Code of Silence -- Anytime you fuck a girl that's so dirty or ugly that you rip off the used condom, gag her with it, and tell her that you'll kill her if she tells a soul what just happened between the two of you.

4)       The Coyote -- When you wake up the morning after sex with an absolute beast to find that she's sleeping on your arm and rather than have to talk to her or, god forbid, touch her again, you gnaw your own arm off and leave it there.

5)       The Purple Mushroom -- When you're receiving a little oral pleasure from a girl and just before you shoot your load, you whip it out of her mouth and try to impale her cheek. The impression it leaves resembles a purple mushroom.

6)       The Divot -- A must for golfers! When you've got your hand below the belt on some girl with a fair amount of bush, you grab on to as much of it as you can, scream "Fore!" and rip every last pube out of her.

7)       The Bronco -- When you're taking a girl doggy-style and just at the moment of climax you reach around, grab her tits as tightly as you can, scream out another girl's name, and enjoy the sensation as she tries to buck you off.

8)       The Rodeo - This is variation of the Bronco, where a bunch of your closest friends are hidden in a bedroom closet prior to the sexual encounter. When the male involved in the feat yells out RODEO, they all run out with a video camera and you try and see how long you can stay on as she tries to get away.

9)       The Pearl Necklace -- When you are enjoying a fine blowjob or titty-fucking session and you happen to leave a line of droplets resembling a string of pearls around her neck.

10)   The New York Style Taco -- Any time that you are so drunk that you go down on a girl and puke in her box.

11)   The Stinky Pinky -- When you're going at it from the back and you insert a pinky finger in along side your member, reach around front, and plunge it so far into her nostril that it tilts her head back.

12)   The Gobstopper -- When you're receiving a hand job and just as you're about to come, the girl decides to squeeze your unit with all of her might and cap you off with her thumb.

13)   The Stranger -- When the tedium of your nightly jerk off becomes too much so you sit on your hand until it falls asleep, giving the sensation of someone else doing it.

14)   The Donkey Punch -- When you're attacking a girl from the back and at the moment of climax you pull out, plunge it into her cornhole, let out a mighty "Hee Haw!" and punch her in the back of the head. Note: In order to fully enjoy the Donkey Punch, you must knock her out as this results in a tightening of the asshole.

15)   (a.k.a. Cleveland Steamer, a.k.a The Hot Lunch) -- When you're receiving a blowjob from a position where you're crouched over her face on all fours and you drop a monster shit right onto her chest.

16)   The Chili Dog -- A variation of above where you proceed to titty-fuck her afterwards.

17)   The  - This occurs when you're fingering a girl and decide to give her a surprise, so you insert a digit or two into her asshole.

18)   The Beetle Clip -- You insert your thumb into the snatch and forefinger into the poop-shoot and try your like hell to make them touch each other.

19)   The Six Pack -- When performing the above and you attempt to carry the girl around (similar to the way you would a six pack).

20)   (a.k.a. Water sports) -- Any shape or form of urinating on or in a girl.

21)   The Bismarck -- When you've got your dick buried to the hilt in some girl's throat and you pull out to sign her face, then belt her, and smear the blood and come together. Also known as the Raspberry Swirl.

22)   Tossing Salad (a.k.a. Rim Job) -- A common prison practice that could also be termed "eating asshole."

23)   The Cave -- When you blow your load into a girl's mouth and proceed to kick her teeth in, making her mouth look like a cave.

24)   The Bullwinkle -- When you're entering your partner from the rear and you reach up front, wrench her nipples as hard as you can, put your hands up to the sides of your head like antlers, and wiggle your fingers and stick out your tongue while omitting a high pitched turkey gobble.

25)   Felching -- A homosexual activity in which one fag fucks another and proceeds to suck his own spooge out of his partner's asshole with a straw. Note: This one's not even popular in prison.

26)   The Dog in the Bathtub -- The name given to attempting to drop your nuts into a girl's asshole. Aptly named, as it's about the only thing harder than getting a dog into a bathtub. Also known as Plum Bum.

27)   The Dolphin -- When you're giving it to a girl from behind and you pull out to stuff it in her butt when she turns her head around and whimpers, "Uh Uh, Uh Uh," sounding exactly like a dolphin.

28)   The V-Plow -- When you're muff diving and in order to look up at the girl you drag your whole face through her snatch, nose proudly leading the way, parting that nasty labia.

29)   The Crimson Tide -- When you're going down on some girl and, to your surprise, the lunar alignment dictates that her monthly flow has just to begun.

30)   The Free Willy -- When you've worked up such a throbber that when some girl unzips your pants to give you a hummer, you spring forth and poke her eye out harpoon style.

31)   The Mudslide -- After convincing some girl to give you a little ass munching action, you proceed to unleash a massive flow of diarrhea and sit there and laugh as it runs down her face and body.

32)   The Fortune Cookie -- After you're done banging some chick, you slip the condom off as you pull out, leaving it in there for the next customer.

33)   The Eiffel Tower -- When you and a friend decide to work a girl over together. You get her down on all fours with one of you in her mouth and the other going at it doggy style. From this position you give one another a mighty, two-handed high five, making the entire structure resemble the Eiffel tower.

34)  The Angry Dragon -- On the first round of the night, work up an extremely large load during a blowjob. Just before you're about to explode, grab the back of her head and ram your unit as far down her throat as possible, causing her to gag on your pint of fluid. The result? She spews it out of her nose, making her resemble an angry dragon

35)   The Flying Camel -- A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a camel in distress. Strictly a class move.

36)   The Fishhook -- A variation of the shocker in which you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.

37)   The Ram -- Again, you're attacking from behind, when you start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall against her head should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.

38)   The Fountain of You -- While sitting on her face and having her eat your asshole, jerk off like a madman, build up as much pressure as possible before releasing, and spew like a geyser all over her neck, tits, and stomach (Better in her bed).

39)   The Pink Glove -- This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough. When you pull out to give her the money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. This is referred to as the pink glove.

40)   The Pile Driver -- You're both munching away "bush and tree style" (standing 69) you blow your load and can't hold her up anymore so you drop to your knees and bash her head into the ground.

41)   The Fish Eye -- Fucking her from behind, you shove your finger in her ass (or his if you are in prison) whereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell is going on back there.

42)   The Fur Ball -- You're chomping away at some trollop who has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.

43)   -- When she takes your whole scrotum into her mouth and holds it there like a tea bag in a cup of hot water.

44)   The Hummer -- While sucking on your rod, she emits a low humming noise. The vibrations from her throat make it all too easy to bring her concert to a quick end.

45)   Snow Balling -- Occurs when some chick takes your load in her mouth and has the audacity come up and kiss you while it's still in there.

46)   The Camel Clutch -- When she's lying on her stomach with you giving it to her from behind and you decide to emulate the Iron Sheik through his signature move, grabbing her underneath the chin and pulling straight back with both hands.

47)   The Rumpledforeskin -- When some girl makes you stop fucking her because she somehow realizes that you don't remember her name, causing you to go limp (like the fairy tale).

48)   The Skull Fuck -- The act of removing a female's eye (unless you really luck out and find someone who's already lost one) and fucking the gaping whole left in its place. SICK!

49)   One in the Fridge, One in the Freezer -- Another one that requires a partner, this simply refers to you and a buddy putting one in her pussy and another in her butt, and simultaneously trying to reach her uterus and large intestine.

50)   The Repunzel -- When no amount of suggestion, persuasion, or begging will get a girl to go down on you and you're forced to resort to simply pulling her head down there by the hair.

51)   The Boston Cooler -- Any form of oral stimulation in which you cleverly conceal ice cubes in you mouth to surprise your partner.

52)   The Houdini -- Going at it doggy-style until you are just about to cum, then pull out and spit on her back so she thinks that you have.  When she turns around a blast is unleashed into her face and she is left shocked and amazed, wondering how you managed it.

53)   Cum guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch -- The once in a lifetime act of blowing a hot steamy load down the back of a girl's throat and then proceeding to give her a large cold bottle of your favorite carbonated drink, making her guzzle it down.  Then, shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling, Sperm Burping effect.  A great way to impress your friends.

54)   The Flaming Amazon -- This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there.  When you're screwing some chick, right when you are about to come, pull out and quickly grab the nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then… extinguish the flames with your jizz!

55)   The Screwnicorn -- When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go at her partner like a crazed unicorn.

56)   The Zombie Mask -- while getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those "pretty little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to spew a good weeks worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes. This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like the walking dead.

57)   The Leaky Faucet -- Before you start to fuck, drink as much water as you possibly can then wait a while and begin the banging. Once you get your rhythm going, you may feel like you have to take a bathroom break. No worries, let it fly and reap the rewards, it's like going upstream. This girl will be leaking piss for a week....nice.

58)   Pole Vault -- Originated by ancient Romans. When the female has sucked your pole to the point of ejaculation she swiftly inserts the index finger of her right hand into your anus. This surprise causes a subtle popping out of the eyes, a natural arch to the lower back and extra propulsion necessary to clear the high bar.

59)   Leif's Poophole Loophole -- When you feel your morals kicking in, and feel that it wouldn’t be right to fuck two of your sluts in the same day.  So instead you fuck the first chick, and stick it in the second one’s ass.

60)   The Rusty Trombone –- When a woman tosses your salad and has the courtesy to give you the reach around at the same time, thus creating the appearance of a woman playing the trombone.

61)   Screaming Seagull –- While having sex on the beach (or in a sandbox if you're a pedophile), you pull your cock out briefly to roll it around in the sand to collect a little "breading". Reinsert, and put your hands over your ears, cause your sweet little seagull may get kinda loud.

 

 

*And*

 

62)   The Triple Crown -- Any three of the above events performed upon the same female.

63)   The Hat Trick -- Any three of the above events performed over the course of a single evening.

64)   The Technical Knockout (TKO) -- Any three of the above events performed upon the same female over the course of a single evening.

65)   The Clean Sweep -- Any four of the above events performed upon the same female.

66)   The Grand Slam -- Any four of the above events performed over the course of a single evening.

67)  The Rape and Pillage -- Any four of the above events performed upon the same female over the course of a single evening.

68)  The Tom & Mottie -- Any thirty seven or more of the above events performed upon the same female over the course of a single evening.
*to gain true tom&mottie status you must complete all items on the above list